


You Found Me

by forever_doodling_tardises



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Agender Castiel, Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Not Hunters, Chuck is God, Dead Sam, Depressed Dean, Heavy Angst, Other, Questionably Angelic Castiel, Self-Harm, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 19:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2479772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forever_doodling_tardises/pseuds/forever_doodling_tardises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester had learned that the corner of First Avenue and Amistad Lane was a good place to find people who aren't quite human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Found Me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song You Found Me by The Fray.

Dean Winchester had learned that the corner of First Avenue and Amistad Lane was a good place to find people who aren’t quite human. 

He found Castiel when he was waiting for a bus. Or Castiel found him. That was it. Cas pulled him along and brought him back to life. Cas thought, sometimes, that they were God, but that was okay, because they were all Dean had ever needed. The only one who could know all there was to share about the ragged soul of Dean Winchester. For one cold summer, things were okay. Then Cas went into the hospital and didn’t come out, and things were worse. They left Dean with hospital bills nearly as mountainous as getting up every day. The fact of Cas’ self-destruction was the more awful because it was a repeat. A repeat of what had happened to Sam. Sam, lying in a hospital bed, face covered in cuts. Sam, not getting up, ever again.  
Dean didn’t get out of bed for 73 hours after Cas. When he finally did, it was to catch a bus. To catch a bus from the corner of First and Amistad. The corner where he met Chuck Shurley.

Chuck was smoking the last cigarette in a worn pack when Dean sat down on the cold metal bench. Chuck knew things about Dean’s life that he couldn’t possibly know. Things that even Dean had forgotten. He knew things about other people’s lives, too. Dean was too far to care much about Chuck Shurley and what he knew. But Chuck seemed to be something solid, so Dean kept coming back to the bus stop, talking to Chuck about the car he used to own or something else so inconsequential.

Dean checked his answering machine every day, waiting for a new message that wouldn’t come. He shouldn’t have still been paying for phone service, but he was. Dean was lost. He’d been lost since Sam, lost since Cas. Now there was Chuck, and there was no telling how long Chuck would be there. 

Dean never thought Cas would make a very good God. But he wondered about Chuck sometimes, wondered how he knew so much. Then he was reminded of Cas and he felt sick.

Once, he kissed Chuck. He thought about Cas and felt sicker. 

Dean was back at his drafty little flat. He still felt sick. Not a home. Dean Winchester had never had a home. He was on the floor. Collapsed, surrounded by the things he’d done, the things he wished he’d done, and the things he could do nothing about. He was seeing stars, falling stars, through his windows. He didn’t have windows. Did he? He had a knife. He was going to use it. Or had he already used it? Blood. Too much. Chuck was there, suddenly. Dean wanted to scream at him, so he did. “Where have you been? All that time? All that time, all I needed was a call, God, just one call, but you never…” Dean trailed off. Cas was there now. Chuck was forgotten, Chuck wasn’t even there anymore, it was just Cas, and were they God now? Or just an angel. Vibrant blue wings. Black around the edges. Cas helped Dean up, gathered Dean in their arms, and there were so many things Dean wanted to say to them. He knew now. Knew that everyone ends up alone. But now Cas was there. “You’re late,” Dean sobbed. “You’re years late. Where are you, where were you?”  
“Here,” Cas replied, and Dean believed him.


End file.
